The holidays are a time for joy, family, and togetherness.  But for children with hearing loss, large gatherings can feel overwhelming and isolating.  The constant noise, multiple conversations, and fast-paced interactions can lead to what's often called "dinner table syndrome" – a feeling of exclusion and frustration. This post will help you turn those potentially negative experiences into more positive ones, using self-advocacy strategies to make holiday gatherings more enjoyable for your child.

Understanding "Dinner Table Syndrome"

"Dinner table syndrome" describes the feeling of being left out of conversations and activities at a large gathering.  The challenges aren't just about hearing the words; it's the overall sensory overload, the difficulty following multiple conversations at once, and the constant need to focus intently, which can be exhausting.  This can lead to anxiety, frustration, and social withdrawal. Children who are experiencing this may end up on their phones, watching TV, or even completely removing themselves from the social activities and isolating themselves from the gathering. 

Self-Advocacy Strategies for a Successful Holiday

The following strategies can empower your child to actively participate in your holiday gathering and reduce feelings of isolation.  Remember, practice makes perfect!  Work with your child in advance to choose a few strategies that seem manageable and build confidence.

Before the Gathering:

• Know the Plan: Discuss the event beforehand. Who will be there? What's the schedule? Knowing what to expect reduces anxiety.
• Text the Hosts: Let the hosts know your child's hearing needs in advance (e.g., quieter seating, use of technology).
• Charged Devices: Make sure hearing aids/CI's are fully charged or that extra batteries are readily available.
• Remote Mic: Charge the remote microphone well in advance. 
• Make a plan: Identify ways in advance that your child can engage and be involved in the gathering.  Pick from the tips below and role play when your child may use these strategies.

During the Gathering:

• Strategic Seating: Sit near someone who can help if your child misses something, or in a quieter area.
• Use Technology: Utilize captioning apps on phones or other assistive technologies to help follow conversations.
• Games: Offer family games that don't heavily rely on verbal communication.
• Introduce Yourself: Encourage your child to greet people at the door for individual, calmer conversations, allowing guests to spend time with your child and your child to meet everyone.
• Ask for Clarification: Teach your child to politely ask for clarification or repetition if they don't understand something.
• Engage in Other Ways: Encourage your child to help with setting out food, clearing dishes, etc., to feel involved.
• Explain Needs: Help your child explain their hearing needs to other guests (and perhaps provide them with a simple explanation they can use).  Something along the lines of "With my hearing loss I hear better when I sit further away from the music" (replace with whatever need your child has.)

After the Gathering:

• Debrief: Talk about the event afterward with your child. Discuss what they enjoyed, what was challenging, and what they might try differently next time.

Additional Tips:

• Practice: Role-play these self-advocacy strategies at home to build confidence.
• Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate your child's efforts and successes, regardless of the outcome.
• Celebrate Successes: Acknowledge your child's ability to participate and contribute to the gathering.
• Professional Support: Consult your Teacher of the Deaf, audiologist or speech-language pathologist for additional support and strategies tailored to your child's specific needs.

By implementing these strategies, you can help your child navigate holiday gatherings with more confidence and less stress. Remember, the goal is not perfection, but participation and inclusion. 

I created a Holiday Self-Advocacy BINGO game as a fun activity to help teach these skills and then celebrate them afterward.  Discuss these strategies before your holiday gathering and practice them. After the gathering, go through each square and have your child mark the strategies they were able to use.  Celebrate every square and make a big deal of a BINGO!  

GET YOUR FREE HOLIDAY SELF-ADVOCACY BINGO CARDS HERE

Also, make sure you check out The Online Itinerant, and the Friend Academy, for ongoing support all year long for families of children who have hearing loss.  

Happy Holidays!